God kills for a bad sermon

One clear Sunday morning my family and I arrived to church to find that our pastor, Pastor John, was away. He was absent due to a recent death of his dear friend. This friend happened to be another pastor, and his funeral was out of town. Needless to say, our youth leader opted to fill in for John while he was away mourning the loss of his dear friend.

Our youth pastor was not a very good public speaker, nor did he speak about anything important. He rambled on for what seemed like hours, drudging through a PowerPoint of cheesy graphics and not-so orthodox clip art to say practically nothing. But at one point our youth pastor decided, in what seemed like a move to advertise the importance of his own sermon, tell the congregation how dearly God wanted him to speak that day.

Being a Calvinist, our youth pastor believed that every action has a purpose. God meticulously controls every detail in order to carry out his will on Earth. With such beliefs, our youth pastor confidently proclaimed that God killed Pastor John’s friend for the precise purpose of letting him preach that day.

My brother and I looked at each other in shocked horror. The youth pastor’s look of utter self-approval left no doubt in my mind that not only he was serious but he believed this was a righteous and holy act from God.

About christopher fisher

The blog is meant for educational/entertainment purposes. All material can be used and reproduced in any length for any purpose as long as I am cited as the source.
This entry was posted in Calvinism, God, Theology, Vanity. Bookmark the permalink.

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